Are "Do What You Love" and "Love What You Do" the Worst Advices Ever?

Dedicated to the recovering workaholic within me and all the "doers" out there.

Image by JoeL63 from Pixabay

Love What You Do and Do What You Love

I admit, I was one of those people propagating that idea.

Actually, part of me still believes it. In fact, I will always be proud to have (almost) never worked in a job I didn’t love. And yet, I still felt at times miserable doing it.

Moving beyond myself, there are several archetypes when it comes to work which I have encountered:

• The Idealist: My work is a way to contribute to making the world a better place. (Includes the purpose-driven entrepreneur.)

  Motto: “Work gives me meaning” and “I am who I am because of what I do.”

• The Entrepreneur: Work is a way to gain everything important in life: independence, freedom, money, status, a good life.

  Motto: “I don’t want to ever work for anyone.” and “Money buys freedom.”

• The Cynic: Work is a way to earn money to finance a good life outside of work.

  Motto: “I’m lying about working wholeheartedly, and they’re lying about paying me fairly.”

• The Victim: I haven’t had the opportunities others have had.

  Motto: “I could have been as successful as X if only Y hadn’t done Z to me.”

• The Careerist: Work is my path to a better life and higher social status.

  Motto: “I can’t be an entrepreneur.” and “I am who I am because of what I do.”

• The Survivor: Work is just a way to provide for myself and my family.

  Motto: “I’ll never earn enough money for all my needs.”

• The Hard Worker: Nothing good in life comes easy.

  Motto: “Success is 99% hard work and 1% talent.”

• The Youngster: My mom/dad believed that ABC is a good job and XYZ is not.

  Motto: “I can’t afford to do XYZ although that’s what I love—that would have been irresponsible.”

Among these, The Idealist and The Entrepreneur believe in doing what you love and loving what you do. The rest don’t but some of them, for example The Careerist, play along by pretending to believe in them.

As a recovering Idealist, I no longer believe in “doing what you love” or “loving what you do.” I used to believe that work gave life meaning. I believed work provided opportunities for personal development and upward social mobility we might not otherwise have. I also believed that through my work, I was contributing to making the world a better place.

Today, I no longer believe we need to love what we do or do what we love.

We live in a world that emphasizes productivity and achievement, where we measure our worth by what we do or accomplish. Our work becomes our identity. It’s often the first thing we ask someone when we meet them: “What do you do?”

The pursuit of "doing what you love" has become a mantra of our time, fueled by those promoting purposeful living. But in reality, all that is not much different than working only for money. Both derive a sense of self from external validation or outcomes, whether it’s a paycheck, title, or “making the world a better place.”

In either case, in my experience, it leads to anxiety, workaholism, and burnout. It reinforces the pressure to feel “not good enough” unless we achieve some external milestone usually involving status and approval from others. Often, all we’re doing is still chasing the validation our younger self wanted from mum or dad.

Here’s what I believe now:

Love Who You Are & Be Who You Love

This idea doesn’t necessarily contradict the original notion entirely, but it does invite a profound shift in perspective. Instead of identifying with what we do, it calls us to turn inward and ask ourselves, both at work and in life:

“Who am I being right now? And do I love who I am being right now?”

Loving who you are being requires first becoming aware of what you feel and how you show up in the world, moment by moment, regardless of what you’re doing. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always love who I am in every moment. Sometimes, I don’t even recognize myself—and I’m not proud of that. Sure, I can justify those moments with external factors, but the reality is that who I am being is ultimately driven by me.

When we cultivate this awareness, we become more attuned to the energy we bring into the present moment. This might feel challenging at first because we’re often consumed by thoughts of “what happened,” “what needs to happen,” or “what might happen.” But tuning into the now can be profoundly liberating. It shifts the focus from chasing success to embodying a version of ourselves that feels aligned, true, and whole. Instead of waiting for circumstances to change or for achievements to define us, we become the source of our own fulfillment—regardless of external conditions.

When it comes to work, being present allows us to ask honestly:

Does our work feel like a 10 out of 10? A 7 out of 10? Or maybe just a 2 out of 10?

You could be doing the most prestigious work in the world—making everyone envy you—but if it doesn’t feel like a 10 out of 10 to you, maybe you’re living someone else’s life. That “someone else” might be the dream your parents had for you, your friends’ definition of success, or even your younger self’s aspirations from 10—or even 40—years ago.

And yes, it’s okay not to love who you are being in a job that once felt like a 10 out of 10. We evolve. Our consciousness expands. It’s natural to feel differently about our careers as we grow.

Being who we love now is an invitation to live in harmony with our core self and the things that feel intuitively right and inspire us in this moment. And by being who we love—no matter what we’re doing—we naturally align with potentialities, relationships and work that resonate with our true self.

This shift—from focusing on what we do to who we are being—cultivates inner peace. It frees us from the endless cycle of seeking fulfillment through external validation and invites us to anchor ourselves in a deeper truth: Who we are in this moment is already enough. And who we are is infinitely fabulous, loving and lovable.

I wonder—how do you relate to this? Do you love who you are being in your work and in all that you do? What might need your attention?

And if you hear a voice saying, “Yeah, right. How can I love who I am when I have to do XYZ?” here’s one final story for you:

A while back, I listened to a TED Talk by Chip Conley, former Airbnb Head of Global Hospitality & Strategy, among other roles. He told the story of a young Vietnamese woman working as a cleaning lady. At the time, he was a young hotel owner and couldn’t believe how this woman could be so happy while cleaning toilets. So, he asked her. She explained that she was far from home, and she understood how lonely and uncomfortable being away from home could feel for the hotel’s guests. By doing her job well and preparing their rooms thoughtfully, she believed she could help them feel just a little less lonely. And that made her happy and fulfilled.

So yes, we can love who we are being, no matter what we do.
And we can also hate who we are being, even while believing we love what we do or working in a job we think everyone aspires to have.

Getting there requires a deeper connection to what feels intuitively right and truly inspires us, while shedding the layers of conditioning we’ve picked up along the way—conditioning that keeps us stuck in fear, judgment, shame, and guilt.

Let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you!