Women's Edition: Close Encounters with Brainwashing #2

I think we should end most women's movements. Oops... Did I say this out loud?

Photo by Christopher Burns on Unsplash

July 28, 2024— Somewhere in Europe

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This article will probably get me some unsubscribes but I am writing it because I am convinced that we need radical honesty to escape the traps we’ve fallen into.

I am one of those women who have broken a few glass ceilings. I have been an entrepreneur, an international executive, and a female community founder. And yet, I believe that many female movements breed separation, dehumanization, or blind obedience. Also, we need to end the reprogramming around gender that’s going on everywhere, even during this Friday’s opening of the Olympics.

I invite you on a journey into some narratives on women’s empowerment, equality, and equity, fighting for this and that, and finally, what’s needed instead. Before I continue, one note. I will refer to men and women as general patterns. Each man and each woman is uniquely different and may follow the pattern, or not.

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Brainwashing Lie #1: Women had no power in the past; we need to empower them now.

One of the foundational beliefs behind many women’s movements and societal initiatives is that women have been deprived of their rightful presence in Society, they had little or no power, hence, they need to get it now.

On face value, you probably agree. I do too. And how could I not, knowing that only 50+ years ago, women were still not allowed to vote in Switzerland? That seems so absurd, right? And yet, something is missing in the prevailing rhetoric and I want to explore it.

Going way back, men were the builders, hunters, and warriors. Their roles were to provide food, build a home, provide safety, and fight in case of existential threats and wars. That means they had to be physically strong, have a great spatial orientation, a big-picture view, a vision for the future, and have the strategic, tactical, and muscle power to foresee danger and win in battles. They had to be strong, courageous, ambitious, strategic, proactive, even aggressive.

Women were holding communities and households together, and raising the future generation. They were responsible for feeding and healing, nurturing and educating the children, keeping the family and the community together, and safeguarding the cultural traditions. They were the caregivers, the culture evangelists, the collaborators, the community guardians. They did not develop as much spatial orientation, big-picture view, vision, and strategic capabilities, but they understood the role of togetherness, inclusivity, and emotional connections. They also became great at nurturing and healing, deciphering human emotions, and using intuition.

This is what we would call a division of labor and specialization— something we value today as it leads to better results. It was also very needed when humanity did not have the conveniences we enjoy today.

Looking at this picture, do you think men or women had more power and importance?

To me, it seems that they were both needed and important.

Plus, I would say women’s role was pretty powerful, wouldn’t you? Let’s see…

If I were to tell you someone was responsible for education, community, and culture, you wouldn’t think of them as insignificant or powerless, would you?

After all:

• Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world. (Nelson Mandela)

• Culture eats strategy for breakfast. (Peter Drucker)

• A Community that discovers what it cares about holds the greatest power for change. (Margaret J. Wheatley)

In the history of humanity up to recently, I believe no one questioned the power of women and there was clarity among men and women on their different strengths and sources of wisdom. Fast forward to today, things look different and the reason in my opinion is called brainwashing. Brainwashing done to us for economic growth and political control, and brainwashing we (women) did to ourselves following manipulations that feed our ego’s desires. All this led to the rise of the women's empowerment movements but as I stated in an old article of mine, “When someone wants to empower you, they limit the power you already have.” I have concluded in the same article that the real philosophy of empowerment is to limit the original power of the individual by defining and directing the process of empowerment.

So, I invite everyone to think about what powers have been given to women in the last years, and what powers they consciously or unconsciously abdicated from. And what the consequences are for society at large.

Brainwashing Lie 2: The recent broad societal focus on women is about their human rights.

People who know me have heard me talk about my surprise around the widening celebration of the 8th of March as International Women's Day. In my childhood memories and also according to Wikipedia, “IWD was predominantly celebrated in communist countries and by the communist movement worldwide.” Fast forward to this century, I was utterly surprised to see what I perceived to be a communist holiday all of a sudden widely celebrated everywhere.

So, what happened?

According to Wikipedia, “By the twenty-first century, IWD had been criticized as heavily diluted and commercialized, particularly in the West, where it is sponsored by major corporations and used to promote general and vague notions of equality, rather than radical social reforms.” Again there, you can see that the IWD was also picked up by President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in 2011 with several initiatives.

So why did politicians and corporations suddenly become so interested in the IWD? Let me know if you have some hypotheses. I am very intrigued, and you should be too because these events seem to be shaping our world today.

I found a few potential causes in the economic books:

• First, in these last years, economic growth was the main focus of both national economies and transnational corporations. Promoting women to take full employment is the textbook way of doing it. (Immigration is the other way, especially when there are negative birth rates, but that is a separate story.) So, yes, any economist would tell you that increasing the workforce increases the economic productive potential of a country. That in itself means new markets for corporations. There is also a multiplier effect because as women go to work, families need daycare facilities, and women need new attire, cars, ready-made food, and all kinds of other help.

• Second, there is something else interesting that might be an ulterior motive or just an unintended consequence. It’s connected to the role of women in culture, education, community, and family which I discussed above. The bottom line is that destroying family values and local culture helps establish a global culture. At a minimum, economies of scale would be much bigger if everyone wore the same shoes everywhere around the globe, wouldn’t they?

• Thirdly, destroying family values and local culture makes us more positively inclined towards labor mobility— another important aspect of globalization for national economies and corporations.

• Finally, destroying family values and local culture creates walls between generations and distances us from centuries of wisdom. That makes us subjects of easier manipulation with women being more convenient than men— more on that further below.

Altogether, my belief is that the relatively recent push to bring more women to the workplaces is economically motivated in both the developed and developing world and very much in the interest of transnational corporations.

I am what you would typically call ‘a career woman’ so you can trust me when I say that I am not propagating for women to stay home. There is a bigger picture here that I want you to pay attention to. I will illustrate it with one story from the times of communism.

Back in 1986, I was on a visit to Moscow and we found ourselves sitting in the tiny kitchen of our host. We were utterly surprised at the size of the kitchen. I came then from Bulgaria- another communist country but I’ve never seen a kitchen that small. We sat around a tiny dining table, surrounded by a few kitchen cabinets, and we could reach anything in any cupboard without standing up. If anyone were to move, we had to stand and leave first. The host saw our surprise and explained. The communist regime understood the importance of family, culture, and community and did not want people to gather for too long at home. The kitchen was designed as a place to make some tea in the morning and then leave. Men and women were equally engaged at work and had to eat at public canteens.

I will leave the conclusions to you.

I would only say that education, culture, and community are where you need to focus if you want to disintegrate or transform the fabric of a society.

Whether ill-intended or simply an unintended consequence, education, local culture, and community have become the most neglected and malnourished aspects of our lives. That has great repercussions for the future of humanity.

Brainwashing Lie #3: Having more women leaders will enhance business and politics

One of the prevailing rhetorics has been around the patriarchal, aggressive, and dehumanizing nature of organizations and the positive impact women would have if they were to take leadership roles.

Sounds great, right?

I wish it were that easy but it could not be further from the truth.

I am going to illustrate why with a symbolic example.

One of the most powerful US women’s organizations bragged a while ago that women’s groups had a stand and representation at the World Economic Forum in Davos for the first time. Women around the world celebrated it as a great achievement. That happened at the hype of the many important questions about the unelected power of the World Economic Forum in our world today. That symbolically represents the point I want to make:

The focus of most women’s movements is ensuring that women have high ranking position in the existing political and economic systems the way they are. Very few of them have on their agenda the reinvention of these systems.

I think they miss the mark here.

Putting women on top of old-style dehumanizing structures does not mechanically produce the needed change even though women naturally are inclined to be more inclusive, collaborative, and compassionate— something we have defined as the necessary direction of transformation.

In my opinion, we don’t need women in charge of the existing structures in the way they are. We need new types of business and political organizations focusing on collective intelligence which naturally means men and women.

But it gets much worse.

When women step into leadership roles in the EXISTING political and business organizations, they have been known to become more “men” than men. They connect to their masculine energy and neglect their feminine wisdom.

In my opinion, that makes things worse not better. Plus, there are some additional worsening effects. More on that here below.

Brainwashing Lie #4: We need equality/equity between men and women.

There are very few things I hate, and the word equality in any reference to human beings is at the top of my list. I used to think that equity is a better way of referring to it but I know now that it’s the same insanity:

• Equality is about being or becoming the same.

• Equity acknowledges that we are different but then pursues the same goal of reaching equality, i.e. everyone should end up in the same place.

Both things are insane and here is why.

First, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

You probably remember this book…

Or do you?

Judging by the state of affairs, we seem to have forgotten all about it…

It’s been more than 30 years since that book was first published. I remember browsing through it many years ago; I am unsure how I would feel if I reread it now. However, I know that it speaks of the differences between men and women and how becoming aware of differences, and embracing them helps relationships.

In the last 30 years, we (women) forgot about that and focused on equality. In my view, women were brainwashed to want everything men have, to behave like them, and at the same time, to let go of what we already had.

And in case you are beginning to be bothered by this, being aware of differences is not the same as being biased.

Men and women have different strengths and shadows.
Denying these differences is stupid.
Not capitalizing on them us unwise.

And if you are still hesitating, here is another story from my years in communism.

I wanted to study sociology, psychology, or philosophy; I ended up in engineering, specifically automatics. That’s also an interesting story, but I will leave it for another time. I would tell you now only that technical universities in communist countries had quotas- 50% men and 50% women. If you are one of those dreaming of equality, here we go. We had it. And let me tell you firsthand— it’s the stupidest thing ever. Women like me took the places of men with technical skills who would have become great engineers. I am not saying that women cannot be engineers. Vice-versa, there are many great women engineers. I am saying something different.

It is stupid to neglect the differences and natural inclinations and talents of boys and girls and unwise not to capitalize on them. Quotas and focus on equality/ equity do exactly that and it’s dehumanizing!

Second, Equality as an Economic Goal is Degrading

I can’t help but tell you another story from communism. In those years, ALL university graduates had the same starting wage and knew they would retire with a 33% higher about 30 years later. There were some exclusions but mostly, that was the rule. They also knew when exactly they would get promotions.

Do I need to tell you that such equality kills initiative, entrepreneurial spirit, innovation, and motivation?

Plus, the focus on equality has nothing to do with fairness, justice, and human rights.

Focus on fairness, justice, access to education and opportunities and lower inequality (i.e. smaller gap between the wealthiest and the poorest) is very much needed but that is not the same as focus on equality.

Brainwashing Lie #5: Women are better leaders

Women are not better leaders.

Men are not better leaders either.

Such generalizations are stupid by default.

And yet, there is a reason why we keep hearing them.

The confusion comes from the fact that both business and politics need more feminine energies to balance the masculine energies that have been dominant for years. However, that’s very different from saying that we need more women leaders because they are better leaders.

As a soceity and as organizations, we need more balanced human beings connected to their masculine and feminine energies. Both women and men must capitalize on their strengths and illuminate their shadows.

Now that we are on the subject, let’s further explore women in politics and business.
Get ready, this is where I would get some serious hate if I did not already.

I explained earlier how historically women have not developed the strategic and tactical skills needed in business and politics. Again, that is not to say that some women do not possess these qualities— I am speaking of women in the broadest possible sense.

By putting women lacking the strategic and tactical skills in high positions, it’s easier to manage and manipulate them. This is often used by the power structures that are ‘behind the scenes’ lately rather than ‘on the scenes.’

So, in real life, we see women in high positions who are tools in the hands of power structures and women in high positions disconnected from their femininity who are more men than men. And, unfortunately, it’s the exclusion, rather than the norm to see women in high positions who have worked on their strategic and tactical skills (their shadow) and are capitalizing on their feminine qualities (their strengths).

More on the potential solutions here below.

Brainwashing Lie #6— Women need to fight for their rights

Fighting against something involves the idealization of one position and vilifying another. That never works in living systems, no matter how well meant. This approach exacerbates the problem and creates new issues.

What many women’s movements have done is glorify women and vilify patriarchy and men and I am sorry to say, that’s stupid. That is best illustrated by looking at domestic abuse, and more specifically victims and perpetrators. It’s easy to attribute blame to perpetrators. It’s also easy to miss the cases when women abuse their power when it comes to men. Much better however is to study the systemic conditions that lead to any abuse of power. By addressing these systemic factors and including the whole, we have a bigger chance to find more sustainable and holistic solutions.

And, yes, this will get me more hate but here is what I think…

Women’s movements and the consequent women’s behaviors have created more violence and misunderstandings between the genders than men have ever done. Also, women have done more to objectivize themselves as victims and sexual objects than men have ever done.

The Way Forward

If you have rushed through the text, you might think of me as a women-hater but you could not be further from the truth. I have founded a female movement and worked with many women as a leader, mentor, and collaborator.

Nothing I say means that we do not need women's movements or that women do not have the potential to contribute to Society at this very moment. Vice-versa, I believe women have a big role to play in today’s world. I am also saying, however, that we are not fully ready for that role and we need a new type of agenda if we are to see the changes we so dream of.

Here are some areas of calibration which I suggest:

WE DON’T NEED:

1. Men insecure of their manhood and women deprived of womanhood.

2. Women’s movements that fight, blame, separate, exclude, focus on the past, and dehumanize women or men.

3. Confused and easy to manipulate humans, weakened communities and family structures, and dehumanized organizations, politics, and ideologies.

WE NEED INSTEAD to bring our attention to the type of world we want to build and understand the underlying causes of not being there yet. In my opinion, that means:

1. MOVEMENTS putting an end to the craziness around gender, focused on the human rights of both men and women, mentoring men and women on the uniqueness of all humans, nurturing individual and collective wisdom, living systems knowledge, and honest communication between men and women.

2. LEADERS, balanced in their feminine and masculine energies women and men, unafraid to speak their truths, making choices based on their inner sense of what’s right, and nurturing leadership as a widespread competence of everyone.

3. SOCIETY, men and women, focused on education, culture, family, community, and new types of organizations and politics that bring out the best in humanity. That means also being unafraid to call out current leaders on their insanity.

It does not matter whether I got it right or whether you agree with me. It matters whether you would give it some thought and speak your truth. I also know that we can’t have what we can’t imagine or are afraid to talk about.