Have Freedom and Independence Become our Disadvantage as a Human Species?
The essence of life is based on interdependence and unity.
24 Jun, 2024— Zurich, Switzerland
Four Stories
Bear with me for a moment—I promise, there’s a point to these stories.
The “Dumb” Geese
In many cultures, we tend to associate geese with stupidity.
But are geese so stupid indeed?
The sight of geese flying in formation has always been an inspiration. Yet, many of us don’t realize the remarkable unity, wisdom, and interdependence involved.
According to multiple sources online, each bird's wing flaps generate an uplift for the bird immediately following it. This aerodynamic benefit is achieved by flying in a 'V' formation, enabling the entire flock to substantially extend their flying range compared to if each bird were flying solo. That’s called synergy.
When a goose strays from the formation, it experiences the increased drag and resistance of flying alone, prompting it to quickly rejoin the group to benefit from the uplift created by the bird in front.
Additionally, geese use a rotational leadership. Being in the lead is the most difficult and exhausting task. Usually, the strongest geese take the lead in the beginning. However, when they get tired, they rotate back into the 'V', allowing another goose to take the lead. This rotation ensures that no single bird bears the load of leading for too long.
In cases where a goose becomes sick or wounded and falls out of formation, two other geese remain with that goose until it recovers enough to fly or until it dies.
Not very dumb, is it?
The “Useless” and “Threatening” Weeds
We associate weeds with “doing harm” and, for many of us, they are nuisances at best and serious threats at worst.
The reality is that weeds are integral to the functioning and health of the whole ecosystem. Their extensive root systems help to stabilize the ground and prevent erosion. They also contribute to soil health by drawing up nutrients from deeper layers, making them available to other plants. Many weeds are also beneficial for insects and pollinators and have health benefits for humans.
Today, we know that they aid in natural pest control and reduce the need to use chemicals. They play a role in crop rotation. They are also grown and then turned into the soil to enhance its organic matter and fertility. Altogether, they are anything but purposeless or threatening. Conversely, the so-called useful plants cannot be healthy without them.
The “Primitive” Ancestors and “Socially Mobile” Humans
We often believe that our ancestors were primitive, viewing their ways of life and knowledge as outdated, survival-driven, and irrelevant to modern times. The technological advancements and scientific progress of recent centuries have nurtured in us a sense of superiority. As a result, we often overlook the profound wisdom embedded in ancestral knowledge and traditions. Today, we keep finding proof that our ancestors’ understanding of nature and holistic ways of living offer immense wisdom, often superior to some of our contemporary ways.
In my personal experience, the concept of upward social mobility pushes us further away from ancestral and parental wisdom. As we strive to climb social and economic ladders, we often abandon traditional practices and cultural heritage in favor of adopting modern norms and lifestyles. I’ve done that. My parents did it. Probably you’ve done that as well.
Lately, however, these processes have been further accelerated by globalization, leading to a dangerous loss of identity and an ever-weakened connection to our roots in more ways than one. In the quest for modern success, we are ready to deny the lessons and practices of our species and are ignorant of what forms our human advantage. (There is more on that in my article “When we fear AI, who are we really afraid of?”)
The “Independent” Humans
My husband is a type of human species that is disappearing (at least that’s how it feels to me). When he sees a woman carrying something heavy, or anybody struggling in some way, he offers to help. “No, no, no!” is almost always the automatic answer, often expressed with horror. Sometimes, I detect some regret a bit later, but usually, pride prevails.
We have been conditioned to believe that freedom and independence are the ultimate qualities of life. As a result, the majority of us are really bad at receiving help. We would rather carry the burden—that makes us feel independent. That’s especially true lately for women. As women, we believe our lives have been too dependent on men and society’s restrictions. Hence, now we want it all. As we do that, we often go against our grain because interdependence and collaboration (not independence) used to be our most natural state where we would thrive. As for men, based on my observations, men naturally maintain a state in which they value freedom and independence, and yet, they understand the importance of buddy-buddy systems and have less of an issue asking for help and receiving it. Of course, I am generalizing and there are exceptions. There are many people, men and women, who have mastered the art of living together.
Healthy Belonging to Systems
According to Brené Brown, healthy belonging to a system means “being part of something bigger but also having the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else.”
To truly understand this, we need to understand the difference between a couple of related but very different states of being:
Stage 1: Stuck in Dependence and Entanglements
Dependence is our initial state when we come to life. We are dependent on others for basic aspects of our lives like food and shelter. However, a grown-up adult has no reason to be dependent on anyone or anything. And yet, sometimes we get stuck in such unhealthy states. The reasons could be multiple and none of them are good enough reasons.
Systemic entanglement is a term I have understood through my work with systemic constellations. Entanglement is a term from quantum physics describing a phenomenon where particles become linked in such a way that the state of one particle instantly influences the state of another, regardless of the distance separating them. Bert Hellinger, the founder of the method of systemic constellations, defined Systemic Entanglement as the relation between present and past problems that are not caused by direct personal experience. Today, we often refer to these as "invisible loyalties" because, similarly to dependence, they keep us stuck in states that are not healthy for us. Just like dependencies, these are things we need to work on because they are not healthy and keep us stuck. Let me know if you have questions on that.
Stage 2: Sucked into Independence and Freedom
According to Wikipedia, “Freedom is the power or right to speak, act and change as one wants without hindrance or restraint. Freedom is often associated with liberty and autonomy in the sense of 'giving oneself one's own laws.'“ Personal independence is considered to imply full autonomy over one's own life.”
I feel there is a constructive and destructive side to this. Here is the destructive:
“Giving oneself one’s own laws” as an exclusive concept is equal to denying the wisdom of the systems we belong to and those that came before us. “Having full autonomy over one's own life” denies the spiritual aspects of our lives because spirituality implies, at a minimum, believing that we come to this life with a purpose and live our lives with a sense of connection beyond the self.
And here is the constructive side of freedom and independence:
The power or right to speak, act, and change in ways that are aligned with us is important. It is about our basic human rights.
I believe that most of my readers do not have major issues with their basic human rights or at least did not have until recently. However, we have created a world that glorifies individualism and the perception of independence and freedom. We talk of freedom and independence as the ultimate level of development. We are proud when we achieve personal autonomy and self-sufficiency, and that has become the hallmark of success. I know that because I was one of them—completely uprooted and perceiving myself as self-sufficient and independent, and therefore successful.
Independence suggests a life free from the influence and help of others. We strive to get better paid so that we are not dependent on anyone if our sink is not working or we have a flat tire. We want to be able to pay someone to take care of it. Step by step, however, we lose something essential and important. In that desire, we are like geese that stray from the formation. As we do that, we experience the increased drag and resistance of flying alone, we get sick, lonely, and unhappy. We loose our flock and in that state we feel vulnerable and we are easily manipulated.
Unlike the geese, however, we don’t take that as a prompt to rejoin the group. Conversely, we look for solutions further and further away. When we live ONLY with a sense of independence and freedom, as I said in a previous article, we are like cancer cells that move further and further apart from the wisdom and purpose of the living system they belong to while continuing to grow for their own sake.
Stage 3: Free in Interdependence and Interconnection
"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish it but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of peace of mind." —Albert Einstein
According to Rupert Sheldrake, a PhD, biologist and author known for his hypothesis of morphic resonance, and other research in recent years, all biological organisms—plants, animals, people—are connected by a morphic field. Here are a few brief extracts from Rupert Sheldrake:
“Each individual both draws upon and contributes to the collective memory of the species… Social groups are likewise organized by fields, as in schools of fish and flocks of birds. Human societies have memories that are transmitted through the culture of the group, and are most explicitly communicated through the ritual re-enactment of a founding story or myth… The morphic fields of social groups connect together members of the group even when they are many miles apart, and provide channels of communication through which organisms can stay in touch at a distance… Organisms are greater than the sum of their parts, and it is this wholeness which makes them organisms rather than mere aggregates…”
In other words, nothing in nature lives in isolation and in complete freedom and independence from each other. The idea of being completely independent is more myth than reality. Human beings are inherently social creatures, reliant on a web of relationships from birth. We are also learning now that we are completely reliant in many and intricate ways on our relationships with the rest of nature.
Interdependence refers to a mutual reliance between entities, where each entity depends on the other(s) for support, survival, or functionality. This relationship is characterized by interactions and exchanges that benefit all parties involved, but it does not imply dependence or entanglement. It emphasizes collaboration, synergy, and the balance of relationships within a system.
Recognizing our interconnectedness can be liberating. It allows us to acknowledge the roles others play in our lives and to appreciate the collective nature of our accomplishments. It also requires us to show up authentically (in our truth) because that’s the only foundation for healthy interconnectedness.
True Freedom is not Found in Independence but in Connection
When we embrace our authenticity and interconnectedness, we discover that we are freer to express ourselves, share our talents, and pursue our passions. Moreover, interconnectedness does not negate personal responsibility or the pursuit of individual goals. Rather, it enhances them by providing a robust support system. Knowing that we are part of a network can give us the confidence to take risks and the resilience to overcome challenges.
The essence of life is expressed through mutual dependence and unity. As a human species, we are putting ourselves at a disadvantage by being so focused only on freedom and independence.
We can foster a more connected future by how we answer these questions:
How truthful and authentic am I in how I show up in the world every day?
How healed are my relationships with my roots (my family, ancestors, culture)?
How well do I integrate age-old insights with modern advancements?
How rich, diverse, and synergistic are my relationships and partnerships?
How positive is my impact on others, and do I nurture connectedness?
How good am I at belonging to communities and togetherness?
How strong are our wings together and how far do our dreams go?
Altogether, we have some learning to do and we can start with learning from geese and weeds. How about that?
This needs a symposium for certain! The subjects discussed needs a deep dive so individuals can question themselves to see the reality of this ting called life! Independence is a great intoxicant that we chase yet we end up being drunk for the wrong reasons. Freedom has to be put in proper perspective as Natalie does here so eloquently. The Geese story was amazing for my awareness as I am not bird person but it makes sense because survival is a universal thing. many thanks for sharing that. Will hold onto this and revisit. Cheers
Great! A thought about the seven questions at the end. They'd be powerful asked of individuals in a group setting where perspectives / answers are shared, maybe in groups of two or three, then reflected on together after.