Our Identity: Too Stuck or Under Threat? And How Sucked In by Moloch Are We?

Exploring some aspects of the crisis of identity in our ever changing world.

Photo by Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash.

May 26, 2024 — Zurich, Switzerland

According to Wikipedia, “identity is the set of qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, and/or expressions that characterize a person or a group. Identity emerges during childhood as children start to comprehend their self-concept, and it remains a consistent aspect throughout different stages of life. Identity is shaped by social and cultural factors and how others perceive and acknowledge one's characteristics.”

Furthemore, “the etymology of the term "identity" from the Latin noun identitas emphasizes an individual's mental image of themselves and their "sameness with others". Identity encompasses various aspects such as occupational, religious, national, ethnic or racial, gender, educational, generational, and political identities, among others.”

Our Identity in Times of Transformation

Story 1 — Too Stuck to Our Identity

If you know me personally, or if you have been reading some of my previous articles (like Technofeudalism, Enshittification, and You, for example), you already know that I was born in a communist country and lived through the transformation from communism to capitalism and from a planned economy to a market economy.

In those times, just as now, we lived in camps. In that case, the red camp wanted to preserve the old system, and the blue camp wanted change. Families were split right in the middle. Lifelong friends stopped talking to each other. Sounds familiar?

I did not see it then, but I know now that some people were members of a third camp—while we were focused on the blue-vs-red argument, they were making money and gaining power.

At that time, I learned that many of those who wanted to preserve the old system were, in fact, fighting for their identity—the old system was at the core of who they thought they were and it was impossible to let go of that.

These people took criticism of the old system personally.

For them, admitting that some of the things they believed in were lies felt as if they were being asked to admit to being liars or to admit they had been too naive or too stupid to see what was really going on.

Either way, they could not do it, and many defended the old system until their last days.

In today's world, where our understanding of the world we live in constantly evolves with new information emerging from all directions almost daily, being too stuck in our identity can leave us dangerously behind.

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Story 2 — When Our Identity Is Under Threat

The second version of that happens also during times of transformation but it looks a bit different. Those leading the transformation towards a new system choose slogans that touch something deep in us. In today’s world, it’s usually something around peace, democracy, fairness, justice, equality, or the environment, or it could be related to other aspects of our identity calling us to preserve our way of life. They wave these words in ways that make us support them. And why not? They sound so good…

Until one day, we wake up and it seems that something precious—something far more precious than our perceived identity—is under threat, but we can’t even talk about it. If we do, we’ll be ostracized, and that feels too painful to bear.

At that moment, we are faced with two core choices. First, we go silent and —even better—we numb ourselves, try not to notice anything and stay focused on our own lives. Or second, we openly express our opinion and find ourselves in one of the two camps. This erects walls in the middle of our families and communities, just like in the first story.

Oops, I almost forgot… While all that is going on, one thing remains always the same. While we are arguing or suffering in silence, in the background, the third camp is relentlessly focused on making money and gaining power.

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Story 3 — Sucked In By Moloch

Whichever camp we go for—first, second, or third—once we pick a camp, we get sucked into a game we did not sign up for and that force is too strong for us to get out of it on our own.

We can’t get out of it, and things keep intensifying and intensifying. At some point, we feel like the players on the football table in the photo. We still do not see the hands of the actual players because we are so focused on winning against the team across from us.

Yes, we are like puppets in a game, and at some point, we cannot even recognize ourselves—we are in the hands of Moloch.

Moloch is a term that can have different meanings depending on the context in which it's used. I am using it metaphorically to represent strong systemic forces with negative, dehumanizing or destructive influences over individuals or society.

If you have not yet heard of Moloch, I recommend this conversation on YouTube between Daniel Schmachtenberger and Liv Boeree. I use the word Moloch in the context of how they use it, and I recommend listening to the conversation instead of googling the word. The latter can be confusing due to its multiple other meanings.

As an added bonus, you will learn a lot about the actual risks of AI and the metacrisis we are in. And if you do not know Daniel Schmachtenberger, I recommend listening to him or reading his work. For me, he is one of the wisest thought leaders of our time who, in his own words, aims at improving public sensemaking and dialogue.

Three Stories — Three Questions

The first two stories look opposite, but they bring the same questions:

— Which parts of our identity should we be ready to easily let go of?

— Which parts of our identity need to be preserved even if difficult?

And, of course:

— How do we get out once we get sucked in by Moloch?

I don’t have all the answers, and let me tell you—probably, neither do you.

But here is what I know for sure:

— Any story we get sucked in that makes us feel contracted as energy, as well as not free, scared or ashamed, is not the right story for us. So, recognizing and admitting we got sucked in is probably where we need to start.

— How do we get out if we get sucked in? My short answer is by radical honesty. More often than not, we can’t do it alone or start it with our current friends. I feel that we need a community of other-minded and like-hearted people.
Why other minded? Because we need to be exposed to other people’s truths and realities. Only together, we can deepen our understanding of reality— Truth then turns out to be liberating and expansive no matter how difficult it may seem at first.
Why like-hearted? I will leave that to your imagination.

— Any part of our identity that is attached to economic and political systems, or some version of “preserving our way of living”, titles or power, scientific concepts, societal rules, as well as any types of roles, is unhealthy. Overall, we need to detach ourselves from anything that feels like molds and chains instead of roots and wings.

— Also, if the game we play asks us to deny aspects of our origin or background, or invites to re-write history, that’s a tell-tell sign something’s wrong. Whatever changes and transformations we go for, we need to be able to face the Truth in an inclusive manner without denying aspects of ourselves, our realities, or our origins.

— When we are in touch with the part of our identity that needs to be preserved and nurtured, we feel expansive energy, it feels liberating and empowering, it feels sacred. We are connected to our inner light in a way that makes our eyes shine. We are inspired to connect, collaborate and create.

— And last, as the story goes, we will take wrong turns. That’s for sure. Once we do, we should not defend those decisions but open up to new ones that feel expansive.

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Some Rules of Thumb

A lot is written about our identity and I am not pretending to encompass it all here. I am just sharing a few rules of thumb based on my experience that might be helpful as we try to navigate the complexities of our life today and the wicked challenges we face.

So, let’s summarize them:

Deepening our understanding of our world — thumbs up 👍

Sucked into someone else’s game — thumbs down👎

Contracting energy — thumbs down 👎

Expansive energy — thumbs up 👍

Radical honesty — thumbs up 👍

Community — thumbs up 👍

Scared — thumbs down 👎

Sacred — thumbs up 👍

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Let me know in a comment or in a personal message if you relate to one or all of the stories, and these rules of thumb.

Also, do you have some rules of thumb yourself?

I would love to hear from you.